You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
