What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
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