is your mom at the bar?
Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
