i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
