she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
