so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
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