You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
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