please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
