I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
