i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
