I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Randomize
