I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
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Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
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We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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