Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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