There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
