I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
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I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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