he puts the penis in happiness.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
