he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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