You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I need to calm my uterus...
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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