Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
