sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
whose ass print is on the piano?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
