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rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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