I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
i've created a new STD.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
Randomize
