just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
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