the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
