tried unsuccessfully for 10 minutes to do bong hits while wearing glow in the dark vampire fangs before realizing air was getting out of the sides of my mouth
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
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