im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
And then my night got REAL pukey
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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