i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
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i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
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Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
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