I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
and i looked up. we had an audience...
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
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