rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
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