Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
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