just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
