I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Randomize
