Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
