I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
