is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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