I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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