I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
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