Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
