there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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