as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
