yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
