hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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