white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
