So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
