If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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