Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize
