His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
