just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I'm passing your future prison.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Randomize
