Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits. http://tfl.nu/amvg
  Replies (42) Good night (5198) Bad night (724)
• Favorite

  (302): View more from Delaware

  Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (302): Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up. http://tfl.nu/hjt8
  Replies (27) Good night (6061) Bad night (1193)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean... http://tfl.nu/ja4j
  Replies (23) Good night (816) Bad night (4079)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (209): she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook http://tfl.nu/tp82
  Replies (24) Good night (1977) Bad night (10297)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it. http://tfl.nu/xnwu
  Replies (10) Good night (1142) Bad night (4545)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (260): A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him http://tfl.nu/k8ud
  Replies (25) Good night (1703) Bad night (6598)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (513): He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him http://tfl.nu/bwdr
  Replies (21) Good night (6692) Bad night (1709)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.

  (747): View more from California

  Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (256): I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks. (747): Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either. http://tfl.nu/6mbq
  Replies (22) Good night (4019) Bad night (791)
• Favorite

  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (604): Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome. http://tfl.nu/ktg3
  Replies (5) Good night (1883) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off http://tfl.nu/h8mk
  Replies (11) Good night (2274) Bad night (600)
• Favorite

  (509): View more from Washington

  The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (509): The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift. http://tfl.nu/2o45
  Replies (9) Good night (579) Bad night (1843)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (561): jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect. http://tfl.nu/vkgr
  Replies (2) Good night (895) Bad night (379)
• Favorite

  (313): View more from Michigan

  My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (313): My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up? http://tfl.nu/qcgq
  Replies (1) Good night (865) Bad night (411)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".

  (801): View more from Utah

  Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (801): My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt". (801): Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment. http://tfl.nu/n7lf
  Replies (1) Good night (859) Bad night (569)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (773): my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar. http://tfl.nu/vpt2
  Replies (3) Good night (1222) Bad night (358)

Randomize