Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(503): View more from Oregon

Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?

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(606): View more from Kentucky

the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night

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(480): View more from Arizona

With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.

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(613): View more from Ontario

There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(309): View more from Illinois

I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me

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(234): View more from Ohio

If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.

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(484): View more from Pennsylvania

deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.

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(253): View more from Washington

You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.

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(425): View more from Washington

I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.

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