btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.