my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
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I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
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Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.