You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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