shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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