; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
