we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Randomize
