are you still at the devil's house?
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
