Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
