dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
