I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
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