remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
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