i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
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