I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
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