how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize