what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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