oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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