Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
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