In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
Randomize
